I need advice oh how to convince my mom that she’s being scammed again.

My mom is on disability and has given away her money to dudes in Nigeria at least twice. She’s also been in a long distance relationship with “Warren Haynes” and is currently talking with “Eric Clapton” and “Mark Zuckerberg”. “Mark” has convinced her to make an account on apx-market.com and supposedly deposited $2000 into the account and will be providing her with a “team” to help her invest it. I can’t convince her that these people aren’t who they say they are even after one of them admitted to being some dude in Nigeria months ago and gave her a sob story. All of these guys are on Google Hangouts and I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m broke trying to pay her bills and my bills and I still can’t get her to believe that millionaires don’t talk to randoms on Google Hangouts.

Help?


The content was posted by Tynova27 on 2021-09-24 22:24:13 via reddit

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10 Comments

  1. indoor-barn-cat says:

    You could get a medical power of attorney and have her evaluated by a doctor if she cannot manage her own finances. The doctor can certify that she is non compos mentis to manage independently. Talk to a lawyer and/or the doc who certified her disability because there is a way to manage that money, too. If this is a new thing going on, her doc can evaluate for dementia.

  2. soup_2_nuts says:

    first…..if not said already…..apologize for the all caps here *but*

    STOP PAYING HER FUCKING BILLS. YOU NEED TO CUT HER OFF MONEY WISE. JUST FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP GIVING HER MONEY FOR ANY REASON.

    she needs money for lights, food, water, gas, money for meds…I do not care…FULL COMPLETE STOP. Let her cry, kick, scream.

    Remove the emotions from the equation. I know it’s hard, it won’t be easy, but you need to do this.

    Next…if your still with me, I see you say you have no money for a lawyer. that’s fine. It doesn’t matter. Contact Adult Protective Services and tell them what you told us. Be prepared to show proof if you have any regarding the extent she’s been scammed and still being scammed.

    If you don’t know how to start/who to call in your area-

    https://www.napsa-now.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/

    Click on your state, and it’ll give you a 1800 number to call, and from there they will put you in touch with someone who can help at no cost.

  3. Network url blocking.

    You can either login to your modem, or use “Pi-hole”, and block apx-market.com

  4. Crabby_Appleton says:

    She must have a thing for guitarists. Seriously, you need to take her computer away from her.

  5. When-you-get-home says:

    You can bet they are ALL the same person. Scammer just changes up the scam and his fake name.

  6. TheCrazyIsEverywhere says:

    Is her disability through Social Security? If so, you can go to the social security office and apply to be her representative payee. If she doesn’t agree to this, I belive there is a hearing to determine if this is necessary. Take all the proof you can get. Or you might be able to get her to approve it if you spin it as just helping out, making her life easier. If it’s approved, you go open a new bank account with you as the representative payee, and her as the beneficiary. There is a yearly reporting of money spent, but it’s not as daunting as it sounds. It’s just a few categories like housing and entertainment, and estimates are fine.

  7. This is a mental issue. Call professionals.

  8. I can only imagine it getting ugly. I just don’t know what else to do. I only see the messages occasionally and I don’t really go through her phone like that unless I’m scanning it. I don’t know what I can do to get her to drop these fantasies.

  9. The !romance scam bot might have some info, or else try the equivalent of Adult Protective Services in your state for assistance.

  10. 97Edgewood says:

    It’s so depressing to read about these Romance scams, with the victims (often elderly) tenaciously clinging to their fantasies about celebrities or 45 year old handsome surgeons/ 35 year old beautiful women falling in love with them.

    But if you’re old and depressed and lonely, imagine how vulnerable you might be to knowing that when you wake up each day, there is someone writing to you who tells you they love you and how sweet and wonderful you are.

    I can see why the emotional high of feeling loved and appreciated can override rational thought with some people, why they cling to the fantasy against all reason.because it’s too painful to acknowledge that few people in the world actually *do* care about them or think they are wonderful. (And this is not meant as a criticism of their family members who do love them and care for them. Elderly people are in a position to have lost friends and loved ones to death and infirmity and their social circles keep shrinking.)

    It’s quite difficult–correctly, I think–to take away someone”s rights to spend their money as they wish. Correctly, because who wants to be in a position where greedy children or other relatives can easily persuade a court that you are incompetent to have the rights most all adults have to make decisions on how to spend your own money as you see fit? Making it easy would open up the possibility of elderly people being victimized by others wanting control of their money in the guise of “helping” them.

    But of course there are some people who definitely need some kind of limits/control to protect them. It can be tricky to come up with a fair system that isn’t too controlling or too lax, just like with lots dilemmas involving truly helping people, like homeless people and mentally ill people. To what extent should we be able to control them in order to help them?

    In an earlier post about a Romance scam, I mentioned that in these situations, it MAY help to figure out what other kind of activities the victim could be involved with that give a sense of being needed and appreciated, like working as a volunteer with a charity, perhaps fostering a dog or cat, knitting winter hats for the homeless, sponsoring a child overseas through a vetted charity, etc. Of course, the trouble is, these endeavors likely don’t give the kind of dopamine rush that a message from a “lover” does, but might help some elderly people find a source of purpose and being useful and needed and yes, loved.

    This is such a frustrating situation with no easy answers. I really hope you can find a way to help your mother, OP.

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